Writing my last entry, I deeply felt in touch with the belong to learn and do illustration professionally. I felt like I would abandone a part of me, not doing so. Especially because since I draw again, I feel much more alive and creative. Besides, so many kind words were given to my doodles, I have actually been spurred on. Maybe I had the fantasy, doing illustrations for a main job would light up my life. As if artwork would mean nothing but joy, easyness and selfexpression. Attractions that social education and psychotherapy didn't seem to offer for me.
Now I guess my view has been quite narrowed by the upcoming feelings. I definitely would miss the kind of work I do now. And maybe my urgent wish for doing something completely different had something to do with the fact, that I now should start to offer my services as a psychotherapist ;-). This is part of the training and even though I look forward to do so, it's new ground...

I really admire to know, that there are many talented people out there, who include their passion in their everyday lifes. This is very inspiring. I feel quite hopeful now, confident, that every choice in life has it's meaning. And after going through grief, I know now, that I have not done anything wrong. It's good, as it is, and what will come, will come...

Finally thanks for all the encouraging messages! They really helped me to go through this.